Karina & Elodie

...she is a very strong presence, what came through. I am calmed every time by the fact that she carries the crescent moon on her lips. Shhh, she seems to say to me every time I grow agitated looking at her, there is time, and there is light, and there will be more always.

Karina's story:

I was very touched by the taking care of each other that happened during the mask-forming part of the workshop. It was immeasurably sweet to feel my little girl's hands on my shoulders, and smoothing the plaster-strips across my forehead. There was a palpable hum of pleasure in the room as Elodie was encouraged to make me comfortable and help Denise with making a mask while I just relaxed and let her do it. It was really funny when she said "My mom is good at smoothing things out," because it is true on so many levels, which is how Elodie often speaks. She is one part trickster and one part cipher ... and a couple other parts I cannot always name.

I was also surprised at how comfortable I was behind the mask. The thicker and harder it became, the deeper I went into a meditative state. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that wearing a mask relaxes me, but it was an interesting lesson nonetheless. Being physically present but showing no face to the world, and in fact having my eyes closed the whole time so I couldn't "see" the world, it heightened how everything sounded and felt, making me feel both very relaxed and very alive.

Denise did a wonderful job of managing my daughter in her art-making process so that I had the space to do my own. My daughter is someone who requires a lot of interaction, so generally I have a hard time doing art alongside her. She pretty much always wants to jump into whatever art I am creating and participate, which can be frustrating for me in terms of wanting to follow my own artistic flow, and at the same time not wanting to discourage from making art. She also can get frustrated with her art not being 'as good' as mine when we do our art together. It was wonderful how she felt really good about how her mask turned out. She was pleased with her own artistry, which made us both happy. And I was happy with how much space I had to work on my own thing. At one point she came over to look at it and said "mom, it's like looking at you on the inside." Very sweet. And her squirrel mask was just crackling with little furry animal energy, just like Elodie.

I was shocked to see my mother staring back at me when I first saw the mask. Because my  mother passed away just a couple of years ago, and has been in my dreams a lot lately, it really catapulted me into a journey space that I wasn't expecting. At one point I felt light-headed and somewhat overwhelmed with the task of creating a whole mask right then and there. I had a very strong urge to lay down somewhere and take a nap instead. Denise was very good at gently nudging me towards creating without, at any time, making me feel like she was taking over. Making art felt very accessible, whereas most of the time I feel like a rank amateur. And by making art, I mean making something that resonates deeply with something I am experiencing.

There was a moment when I was painting some blue on the face, and because I hadn't dabbed the paintbrush properly, it streamed down one side of the face.I felt like I was watching my mother cry, something I had done many times when she was alive, but in this instance it felt beautiful. I had the experience that there was beauty and perfection in my being witness to her pain. It's a lesson I'm still trying to take in.

Both Elodie and I loved the idea of hearing the egg "crack" open when the mask was lifted. Elodie did a special ringing and knocking when hers came off. I wasn't sure she'd make it through that whole process, and was really impressed and proud of her for breathing and calming herself down when, in the middle, she started to panic about her face being almost covered by plaster. I held her feet, and I felt everything in her relax as she felt she was being held the way she needed to be held. Then she gave us the thumbs up and we continued.

On the whole, I felt stretched and inspired by the mask-making process. The beginning part of making the mask grounded me, as did dialoguing with myself by writing questions and answers. The transition to actually decorating the mask was probably the hardest part because I have so little confidence in myself as a person who "makes" things, but Denise somehow, effortlessly, helped me through that so, before I knew it, I had a paintbrush and a bunch of collage strips and was happily creating my own version of color and grace. I could've probably spent a couple more days on it. The end result, the mask, is sitting in my living room. I can't always look at her, she is a very strong presence, what came through. I am calmed every time by the fact that she carries the crescent moon on her lips. Shhh, she seems to say to me every time I grow agitated looking at her, there is time, and there is light, and there will be more always.